Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Most Sadistic Dishes From Around The World

Origin: Japan

What's so Bad About it?-

Imagine you are in Japan. You walk in to a sushi place and order the first thing that sounds appetizing. "Oh," you say to yourself, "Ikizukuri. What an appetizing jumble of Japanese sounding syllables." And just then, a scene of pure unspeakable horror unveils before your terrified eyes as the cook grabs a fish out of a tank and starts slicing it up while it flops around on the cutting board in front of you. Then he throws it on your plate, the fish still twitching and knocking around your side dishes.

Wait, What?-

"Ikizukuri" literally means "prepared alive" and it delivers on everything the name implies and explicitly states:

You can even choose your own fish for the kill, so if you're an Naughty Person you can go for the one which seems happiest at the moment. The chef will then use his Matrix skills to partially gut and cut it up in mere seconds and serve it you. The trick here? He must cut the fish without killing it. With its heart exposed and beating, gills still working, trying to gasp for air and those last few seconds of pain-filled consciousness, staring at you with its slowly dying eyes which ask you in a fainting tone... "Why... . why... wh... y... w," your fish is ready for eating.

It Gets Worse:-

Often the chef will take the pieces he cut from the fish and "reassemble" them, like some nightmarish jigsaw puzzle. It might be considered quite spectacular from a culinary point of view, but thinking of it as some form of sick joke to taunt the fish is much more rewarding. 

For an equally horrifying variation, the Chinese have Yin Yang Fish, which involves dipping the living fish into oil and frying it alive, but again just enough that it is still living right up until you plunge your fork into its terrified little face.

#5. Ortolan

Origin: France

What's so Bad About it?

An ortolan bird is about six inches long and weighs just four ounces. It's olive green and yellow, with a touch of ruby here and there. Most people who look at them immediately want to keep ortolans as pets and give them funny un-bird like names, such as Jerry or Ginger. Others want to torture and drown them for gluttonous needs of gourmets everywhere.

Wait, What?

The recipe for ortolan is this: Capture the bird in the wild, blind it using a pair of pincers, stick it in a tight cage so it can't move, keep it on a diet of millet, grapes and figs until it reaches two to four times its normal size, and then drown it in a snifter of Armagnac. We are still undecided if the last part makes this whole dish gruesome or totally bleeping sweet.

It Gets Worse:-

The secret to enjoying Ortolan is in the way you eat it. After roasting the bird for six to eight minutes, you cover your face with a napkin, place the whole bird inside your mouth, with only it's head and beak sticking out... and bite down.

The head falls into the napkin, while you slowly bite through Jerry's tiny bones, tiny muscles and even tinier innards. The finale comes when you bite through its lungs and stomach, releasing pockets of brandy into your mouth.
The covering your face with a napkin part is said to have been started by a priest, Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, who did it to hide his gluttony from God. Though we'd think it probably also kept him from getting kicked out of multiple restaurants.


#4. Feng Gan Ji

Origin: Tibet/China

What's so Bad About it?

Feng Gan Ji literally means "wind dried chicken," which sounds like a new eco-hippy marketing campaign devised by the Colonel. To prepare this dish, you basically need four things: A chicken, a sharp knife, an exceptionally well skilled chef and a heart as black and cold as the most lifeless corners of outer space.

Wait, What?

Remember that scene in The Dark Knight where it turned out the Joker sewed a bomb inside his henchman's stomach? Feng Gan Ji is quite similar to it, only instead of a bomb the chef uses marinade, spices, herbs and whatever culinary secret ingredients he might have picked up at the Lucifer Gastronomical University (located in the seventh circle of Hell). He does all that, aptly upstaging the Joker (which is a feat in itself), after cutting open the still-alive chicken, removing its intestines and sewing it back up. The chicken is then strung upside down to dry in the wind.

What? It can't even be windy in that room. This chef must be new.

It Gets Worse:-

The chickens usually enjoy a few agonizing seconds of consciousness after the ordeal, dangling on the string, clucking away in the wind, screaming "For the love of God, why are you doing this to us?!" as they are forced to see hundreds of their fellow chickens subjected to the same torture. And when the bird clucks its final "cluck" the last thing it will see will be its mangled and tortured brothers and sisters. Anyone else hungry?

#4 Grilled Unborn Lamb

First, an entire pregnant female goat is butchered and thrown onto a charcoal fire to burn until it turns a golden brown color. When it is entirely baked, the cook will then cut through its abdomen to take out the cooked, unborn lamb from inside its mother’s body. It is said that in this manner, the softness of the young lamb can offer the diner an especially pleasing taste.

#3 A Live Monkey's Brain

The following dish is actually quite a murderous scene, and the ensuing feast can be quite gruesome. A captured monkey is first forcibly pulled to the dining table. The monkey is tightly held with hoops over its hands and legs. One of the diners uses a hammer to knock hard enough to actually create a hole in the live monkey’s head. Its cracked skull opens from its head and the diners use a stick of iron rod to extract the monkey’s brain. The monkey usually screams terribly before dying near the table.
Some of the more aggressive and “hungry” diners may actually use their spoons to scrape through the bloody monkey’s brain, eating in a greedy manner as though they have not eaten in a long time. The diners continue to eat the raw brain completely, often with their fingers and hands covered with smelly blood. Others may prefer to dip the raw brain into a traditional herb soup in order to add to the aroma while eating.

#2 Roasted Duck Legs

Here is another popular food that begins with a live animal. A live duck is placed on a slightly hot frying pan. Prior to this, an appropriate amount of seasonings is rubbed all over the duck’s body. Due to the heat of the hot-plate, the duck will obviously try to make every attempt to get off of the hot metal, and from time to time, it will try to jump out of the pan.
Finally, the legs will become fully roasted, while its body is still actually alive. The cook will then cut off the duck’s legs for them to be placed on a plate to be ready to serve hot to the diner. The remaining part of the duck is then put in the freezer for other future uses.

#1 Baby Herbal Soup: The Most Horrifying, Cruel and Disgusting Delicacy Ever

This is an even more horrid nightmare when people are eating human foetuses or preborn babies for a nutritional value and to boost intimate power, overall health and stamina. Now, though, the world is encouraging and at times tolerating with abortion issues and ignorance which has allowed the selling of and consumption of human foetuses. What on earth is going on in this world?
There is a growing trend of eating humans in a town located in the Southern province of Canton (Guangdong), China. This delicacy is called “Spare Rib Soup” in the local jargon and it is said to be a nutritional food to help boost stamina, improve overall health while enhancing intimate performance (potency). Allegedly, this human foetus dish is claimed to gain popularity in Shenzhen, China

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